Trials
by Kgirl1
Summary: Takes place towards the beginning of "Trials of the Darksaber." Hera checks on Sabine, wanting to leave nothing unsaid.


**A/N: Takes place during "Trials of the Darksaber," right after the briefing in which Sabine decides to train with the blade. I played with this scene for a long time— it was obviously an emotional one, and I couldn't help but notice the multiple camera frames of Hera's expression. I think she's torn between doing what's best for her squadron as Phoenix Captain, and doing what's best for her family. The following is essentially the product of those thoughts. Hope you like it!**

* * *

After the small briefing had dissipated—Kanan, Ezra and Fenn heading off to prepare for training— Hera made her way to Sabine's door. The Phoenix Captain was scheduled to be training new pilots right now, but that would have to wait.

She knocked three times, to no answer.

"Sabine, I know you're in there," Hera called.

Sitting on her bottom bunk, the Mandalorian swiped a tear off her cheek. "I'm busy!"

The door slid open anyway. Sabine scrubbed at her eyes once more and did her best to glare up at the twi'lek, whose face fell.

"I…" Hera let the word hang and then followed it with a sigh. "I know that what we're asking isn't easy."

"Just… stop." Sabine put her hand up. "I can't… I don't want to hear it. Not from you."

Hera kept her voice soft.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing—"

"How I'm doing?" Sabine spat. "How I'm doing?!"

Hera took a cautious step back.

"You know, I knew Fenn would want me to take up the blade," Sabine narrowed her eyes. "Figured everyone else felt the same. But you?"

Hera opened her mouth, but Sabine didn't give her a chance to reply.

"Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do? Lead an army? Face my family?" She rose from her bed, gesturing angrily, and Hera reached out with a placating hand.

"I know—"

"Out of everyone in that room, you could have stopped them, Hera!" Sabine snapped. "You were supposed to help me. You were supposed to understand!"

"I do understand—"

"Obviously you don't!" The Mandalorian glared. "You claimed you understood, but if you really knew what my family was like, you wouldn't be asking! Those Mandalorian warriors are more important to you than _me!"_

"You know that's not true," Hera said firmly.

"Do I?" Sabine spat. "I don't know why you're even here; you don't care how I feel! I don't know why I thought you'd be on my side!"

"I am on your side!"

"Are you?" Sabine demanded. "Or am I just one more way for you to win this war?"

Hera's jaw dropped. "Sabine—"

"Do I even mean anything to you?" She cried. "Or am I just another soldier, waiting to be sent off?" Sabine took an angry step forward, gesturing wildly. "Another number, another statistic, another way to factor in more troops, more weapons, more firepower? Am I that dispensable to you? Am I—" Sabine's voice broke, and she glared at Hera with tears in her eyes.

"Am I nothing more to you than I was to my own mother?"

She hadn't realized how close she'd gotten to the twi'lek in her tirade, and now found herself wrapped in a strong, adamant hug. The pressure of Hera's arms around her, pulling her close and warm and safe, cracked Sabine open into sobs. Hera held her tighter, letting tears soak into her flight suit, and stroking Sabine's back until she had exhausted herself.

She hiccupped and separated from Hera, embarrassed.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Sabine whispered in shame. "You didn't deserve that."

"It's okay." Hera tucked a fallen strand of hair back behind Sabine's ear. "I kind of did."

They shared a teary, bittersweet smile, and Hera spoke again. "I know this isn't fair to you, Sabine. And you have to believe me when I say that I understand."

Sabine gave a shaky nod. "I… I know."

"Usually what's best for the rebellion lines up with what's best for me, but not this time," Hera added softly. "I'm sorry that I can't protect you from doing this."

"You shouldn't have to." Sabine shook her head vigorously. "I shouldn't have blamed you for that."

"Still," Hera amended, "I hate the thought of you going anywhere where I can't keep an eye you." She gave a sad smile. "But even though it's hard to watch you leave, I believe in you."

"That makes one of us," Sabine mumbled.

Hera nudged her chin up. "Can I tell you something?"

Sabine nodded.

"I don't think you're scared that you can't do it," Hera said. "I think you're scared of what you'll become if you do."

Sabine ran a hand through her hair. "Well… yeah," she admitted. "I mean, carrying the darksaber, leading Mandalore, uniting my people… I'm not ready for that, Hera. I don't even feel old enough to leave here." The girl faltered. "I think that's what scares me the most, actually."

Hera's brow crinkled. "Leaving Atollon?"

"Not Atollon," Sabine shook her head. _"Here._ The _Ghost,_ you… The people I think of as my real family. I don't want to lose you."

"Hey," Hera squeezed her hand. "Ask the Empire. We're not so easy to get rid of."

Sabine broke into a smile, but it faded just as fast. Hera started to say something but then paused, and turned to Sabine's walls instead, surveying everything painted there.

"There's some great art in here," she remarked after a moment. Her voice took on a teasing lilt. "Of course, I could do without the Purrgill, or Lando."

A tiny smile made its way back onto Sabine's face, and Hera pressed on.

"You know how much I love this ship, right?"

Sabine nodded. Hera trailed one hand along the wall.

"I can only do so much in space, but when we're docked, I can make repairs on it, fill it with fuel, fix the shields. No dents, no carbon scoring, no battle scars…" She chuckled. "In fact, the Ghost is probably safest when it's on the ground."

Hera's hand came to a stop.

"But that's not what ships are built for."

Sabine's head jerked up. "Hera…"

The twi'lek moved back toward her. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you've come to think of this ship and family as your home. There's nothing wrong with feeling happy, and comfortable, and safe here," she said. "In our line of work, those feelings can be few and far between." She put a hand on her shoulder and looked Sabine in the eyes.

"But they can also stop you from being something greater than you are," Hera said. "I don't think you're scared of your weakness, Sabine. I think you're scared of your strength."

Sabine looked up with perplexed eyes.

"I've watched you rise to every challenge presented to you. You are strong, and brave, and powerful, more so than you realize, and this sword will bring all of that out and more." Hera said. "The rebellion might have been a pressing factor, but if I didn't think you were ready, Commander Sato himself couldn't have forced my hand."

The girl gave a weak smile.

"You can do this," Hera said softly. "I believe in you."

Sabine's smile went bitter. "Then that already makes you different from my real mom."

Hera's eyes flicked downward, the only betrayal that she'd been hurt.

"Sorry, I—" Sabine cringed. "I didn't mean it like that. I never should have compared you to her, there's… there's no comparison," she shook her head with a pitiful attempt at a smile, and Hera's heart sank. The twi'lek reached out and lifted Sabine's chin up to meet her eyes. The girl looked hesitant and scared, but she focused on Hera nonetheless.

"I know what it's like when the people you love don't believe in you," Hera said sincerely. "But these people?" She gestured around the _Ghost._ "We all do."

Sabine bit her lip, and then launched forward to wrap Hera in one more hug, as tight and devoted as the first.

"Thank you," she whispered, still clinging close. "For everything."

Hera gave Sabine one final squeeze. "You're welcome."

* * *

Ezra loaded another crate onto the shuttle and wiped his brow. "Is that everything?"

"Wait, there's one more," Hera called, passing it to him.

"Geez, Hera, we're setting up a temporary training camp, not another base," Ezra joked as he took the package. Hera just smiled. "I don't think the ship can fit all this," he said.

"Perfect," Sabine came up and nudged him with her elbow. _"You_ can stay behind."

"You kidding?" Ezra smirked. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

Sabine's grin dimmed, and again her gaze drifted nervously to the case that held the darksaber. Hera stepped forward and clasped a hand on her shoulder.

"Good luck," she said simply. Sabine nodded, and Hera turned to Ezra with a light grin.

"Don't go easy on her."

"Me?" Ezra smirked. "Never."

Kanan approached. "Are we all loaded up?"

" _We_ loaded up. _You_ had perfect timing," Ezra rolled his eyes. It was Kanan's turn to smirk.

"Let's go then."

Sabine and Ezra clambered onto the shuttle while Kanan and Hera exchanged goodbyes.

"Think she's ready?" The Jedi murmured. Hera's lips curled up in a grin.

"Think _you_ are?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "I'm trusting in the Force on this one."

She squeezed his hand. "Good luck."

Kanan nodded and joined the ship, and Hera waved goodbye until the three of them had vanished from sight.


End file.
